Yes, you read that right.
My chronic illness has changed my life for the better – in some ways.
When I was diagnosed with endometriosis, I was so relieved to put a legitimate disease name behind all my health problems after going several months without any answers. It was validating. I wasn’t crazy, it wasn’t all in my head, I had a disease that’s hard to find without a laparoscopy surgery.
Since then, I have been trying to accept that I have an incurable disease and let me tell you, that is one tough pill to swallow. You feel such a mix of emotions when you find out you have a chronic illness and that it will be a part of you for the rest of your life.
However, it is crucial that you find the blessings beneath your curse.
I recently took some time to reflect on my situation and really evaluate everything from when I first started having chronic pain and symptoms up until now and here’s what I realized:
It all started back in July 2018, out of nowhere I had a sudden onset of symptoms that happened at my workplace, a commercial printer that offered direct marketing services. The work environment often had strong fumes of inks, toners, cleaners, and more in the air. This is what led to my first doctor thinking I developed a work allergy, which may have been triggering a vasovagal #Syncope reaction, and she recommended finding a new workplace. As a precaution, I took time off from work to see if my symptoms subsided being away from the workplace.
They didn't, and unfortunately, they got worse. Much worse.
My lower abdominal pain hit me full force, and I could only find slight relief by using heat methods, such as a heating pad, a hot bath, shower or my incredible microwavable flax bag my boyfriend's mother made me and has been a godsend gift. My bowel movements were all over the place and painful at times, which no one wants to hear about or enjoys talking about. I felt so sick and nauseous that I struggled to eat, my stomach would bloat so much it would hurt and after eating my abdominal pain would get even worse. It was a terrible experience, and this doesn't also include the ongoing headaches, sore neck, after driving I would feel even sicker and almost dizzy, lower #BackPain that made it hard to sleep, and sudden fatigue episodes that would hit me like a brick and literally have me struggling to keep my eyes open for an hour or more.
To My Significant Other,
I’m so sorry that I must put us through this. Getting #Endometriosis was never part of my plan for us, and it has drastically changed my life, some perspectives, and our relationship.
It makes me feel horrible and sad that I can no longer be spontaneous because my daily pain/symptoms vary too much. There are times where I know I will need to fight through it, regardless of how bad they are, but there are some days I just need to rest and take it easy.
I wish I could go back in time and do things that I was hesitant about, like taking more vacations or weekend getaway trips to the city, heck even walking our dog more! If only I would have known or had clues, to know what lied ahead for me; I think I would have lived differently.
I miss you, terribly.
It will shortly be coming up on a year since I started having all these health problems and began a whole new journey that I wasn’t prepared for and did not expect at all.
My #Endometriosis hit me like a train and knocked me off my feet for several months and still restricts me to this day. During those months of being #Undiagnosed, I experienced the worst #ChronicPain of my life with other daily symptoms that would not ease up, no matter how much time, medications, or rest I gave you.
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